this is no way a whining post but more of a matter of fact one. or maybe a one filled with excuses hehe.
some people have FAQs answered on their blog and this me answering one of my imaginary FAQs.
okay, so the other day, my imaginary fan reader asked me "isya, why don't you ever lose weight? aren't you concerned about how you look?
oh dear fan reader, of course i wished i had a bombastic body. although i've learnt that i shouldn't complain much about it if i'm not going to do anything about it. with so many external factors in the way, i have come to accept the fact that i'll always be just a lil plushy.
it's really hard for me to refuse food. if only i had my mom's discipline of saying no to food when she's full. i on the other hand, when i say i'm full, there's always room for more food actually. especially when Ian feeds me, it's practically impossible to refuse.
even yesterday, i told ian i cant eat so much anymore cause my pants is tight again. despite me refusing to have cake, when he decided he wasn't going to get it too, i was all WHY?? i'll share it with you, i promise!! in the end, he had more discipline than i do too.
me cutting down on food is always only temporary.
when my pants are tight (yes, my pants are the determination on whether i put on weight cause i refuse to buy new pants), i start drinking more water, i'll just order a sandwich instead of pasta and totally not finish my fries. you know, all that jazz.
the moment my pants feels abit loose, it's like oh gosh, this calls for a celebration. bring on em Chilis and KFC and cake and ice cream and have cookies everyday!!
it's like this evil cycle i can't get out of.
there's always something deterring me from exercising. like you know how thursday nights are usually my date night. sooo yesterday, i was full on planning to go to the office gym after work but surprise! ian could make it for dinner and he won't be able to do thursday. i couldn't say noo to date night!!
i tried making up for it by waking up abit earlier today to do some light exercises. and so i did. i got up at 6.30am. somehow, i think i did some donkey kicks and sit ups. it's all a blur really cause at times, i was doing it with my eyes closed. but after i felt that i was done, i checked my clock and oh, it was only 6.35am. so, i went back to sleep for another 10 mins. maybe, i just dreamt that whole thing and i didn't even workout at all lol.
i'm surrounded by people who love food just as much as i do. family and friends both. it's like food have ruled our life. if i were to refuse food, i'll probably be cast out from their life.
my aunty would stop loving me cause i no longer indulge in her wonderful cooking. in my family, not eating food someone offered means you don't love them, you know.
and plus, the tais tais would be one man down in their food adventures like finishing a whole cheese cake after a full on japenese dinner.
i'm just lazy lah. nuff' said.